After traveling the world, exhibiting their intertwined bodies, Chang and Eng Bunker settled down in Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina to farm their land and raise families with their wives (sisters to boot). Chang and Eng became quite wealthy — amassing large estates, tended to by some 33 slaves, and large families. In 1865, the throes of the American Civil War, Union General George Stoneman raided the state and set up a lottery to draft all able-bodied men over the age of 18.  Whether Chang and Eng Bunker would be considered “able-bodied” for purposes of the Selective Service System is another question (the regulations require that even disabled men who live at home must register with Selective Service if they can reasonably leavetheir homes and move about independently).

According to Clint Johnson’s 2011 travel companion, Touring the Carolinas’ Civil War Sites, the names of the men were put into a lottery wheel. Eng’s name was chosen for conscription but not that of his brother Chang. Besides the fact that both Chang and Eng were ardent Southern sympathizers, Stoneman would have had a hell of a time trying to enlist one brother without the other due to the fusion of the conjoined twins’ livers.

As Rebekah Brooks concludes the story: “Neither brother ended up fighting in the war although both of their eldest sons, Christopher Wren Bunker and Stephen Bunker, joined and fought for the Confederacy. Both Christopher and Stephen survived the war but Christopher was captured and spent nearly a year as a prisoner of war at Camp Chase in Ohio in August of 1864.”

Via Civil War Days and the Smithsonian.

Two-headed boy
All floating in glass
The sun it is past
Now it’s blacker than black
I can hear as you tap on your jar

Some would call it the evolution of language. Others would refer to it as bastardization. Take note of two complimentary phenomena affecting the English vernacular.

The manipulation of nouns into verbs is known as “conversion” or “verbing” (which is itself an example of conversion).

• “It takes a certain kind of teacher to turn a teenage student who regularly truanted PE lessons into a county athlete in a matter of months.” (Liz Ford, “New Teachers and Old, Excelling All Round.” The Guardian, July 3, 2007)
• “For sports lovers, you can try to get a bat or a golf club personally signatured by one of their favorite sportspersons, which is bound to be a real treat.” (“Exotic Christmas Gift Ideas” at the website Christmas Gifts Guide, 2009)
• “An amateur baseball powerhouse, Cuba joined the tournament in 1939 and immediately beat Nicaragua for the title. Since then, it has won 25 titles in 37 tournaments, and has medaled 29 times.” (Benjamin Hoffman, “U.S. in Contention at 2009 Baseball World Cup.” The New York Times, September 19, 2009)

Via about.com.

The manipulation of verbs into nouns is known as ”nominalization.” These words are termed “hidden verbs,” “buried verbs,” or ”smothered verbs.”

• “My expectation was that counsel would make an objection,” could be simplified as “I expected counsel to object.”
• “The defendant made a referral to Emily Graves, a financial planner, so Ms. Graves could provide the plaintiff with advice,” could be simplified as “The defendant referred the plaintiff to Emily Graves, a financial planner, so Ms. Graves could advise the plaintiff.”

The indictment of Megaupload and its executives, notably Kim Dotcom, has provided a intimate glimpse of what it’s like to be stupid wealthy: the kind of wealthy where you buy things just to buy things. Here’s a snippit of these pirates’ booty (see pages 83-89):

• Mercedes with license plate GOOD
• Mercedes with license plate EVIL
• Mercedes with license plate CEO
• Rolls Royce with license plate GOD
• Mercedes with license plate STONED,
• Other plates: V, GUILTY, KIMCOM, MAFIA, WOW or 7, HACKER, FUR252, T
• Item 102: artwork, predator statue
• The Olaf Mueller photo “In High Spirits”

As Drew Breunig points out, these guys were getting custom license plates the way some people buy domain names while drunk and then buying the cars for their license plates.

Franklin Synder, a law professor in Fort Worth, weighs in on The Haggler’s predicament (if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it):

You might be interested in letting your readers know that a restaurant meal is a ‘sale of goods’ under Article 2 of the Uniform Commercial Code. The code provides that where the buyer and seller have agreed to a contract but have not agreed on the price, the price is not what the seller subsequently demands. It’s a reasonable price for the goods at issue. Thus a customer has no obligation to pay for anything more than the reasonable price of a pasta meal at a trendy restaurant.

In this circumstance, a customer should make a reasonable offer for the value of the meal, then walk out and wait to be sued for breach of contract. Be sure to leave the restaurant full contact information so they can’t claim that you’re trying to steal something.

Via the Haggler.

“If I were not a judge, I wouldn’t be doing anything. What would I be doing if I were not a judge? What am I even qualified to do? I’ve been a judge for 44 years. My father was a butcher. I’m not trained to be a butcher.”

Via ABA Journal.

Justice Breyer was robbed at machete-point over the weekend at his vacation home in the West Indies. The intruder made off with $1,000. Notably:

• The Supreme Court Police (?!) are on the case as are the US Marshals, including Dept. Samuel Gerard no doubt.
• In 2004, Souter was accosted by a gang of toughs while jogging.
• In 1996, Ginsberg was the victim of a purse snatching.

The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it
Not to mention the Fins
Folks in Siam do it – think of Siamese twins

Via Cole Porter.

The good folks over at Double Fine, makers of such titles as Brutal Legend, Stacking, and the soon to kickstart Double Fine Adventure, have been using the logo above since 2000. That’s 2HB from the Double Fine Action Comics by Scott C. Take a look around their website for some point and click adventure fun!

Tim Schafer, founder of Double Fine, with a stuffed 2HB!

Via doublefine.com.